The Mustard Seed
Apologies for letting the month of June slip by without honoring fathers on their day. I put the title extra large to make up for the oversight.. My only excuse is that we are still in the process of moving.
Dear Abby: My father seems to be living in the past. Is this good?
Abby: Why not? It’s a lot cheaper than the present.
One nice thing about children: They seldom misquote you. They just repeat what you shouldn’t have said.
Dennis the Menace checking out a visitor's head. "What are you looking for, Dennis?"
"Dad said you had a screw loose. I’m trying to find it."
Sign in a candy store:
"Salesclerk wanted - Diabetic preferred."
Warm Birthday. Lot of birthdays coming up this month (any month for that matter). I won’t say I’m too old, but recently I had a birthday and when my wife lit the candles on the cake, our kids were overcome by the heat.
~~ all of the above from Table Talk
You are an old-timer if you remember the Table Talk pamphlets at the old Hot Shoppes. They were filled with little tidbits and jokes that made waiting for the food much easier.
What the average father wants to get out of his new car is the kids.
You should drive your car as if your family was in the other car.
~~ Quips 'n Quotes
Here is an unfunny Milton Berle quote that is, sadly, too true of all America today:
The kids in Hollywood have a big problem on Father's Day. They know what to buy, but they don’t know who to give to.
I read somewhere that today’s young people discuss sex and their sexual exploits, but are embarrassed to talk about love. Sad.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
I’ll part with this serious note:
"Retirement, just like the cost of work-a-day living, is expensive. With planning, time , commitment and money, you can minimize the cost of growing old, and literally create your own retirement in the best way possible for you. But time’s a-wasting; there’s no time like the present to plan for the future."
~~ Lutheran Brotherhood’s "Bond" magazine
Kids ... are you putting aside as much as possible into an IRA? It is tax-deferred money and will really make a difference when you retire!