www.ChristDeaf.org
The Mustard Seed
June 2016
Cracker Barrel
 


A boy who loved to go fishing with his dad was reciting the 23rd Psalm in Sunday School.  When he got to the fourth verse, he said:  "Thy rod and Thy reel, they comfort me."
~~ Dick Van Dyke   



That reminds me, there's a sign in Rehoboth Beach in front of two stores:


WORMS and PERMS

The stores?  A bait shop and a hair salon.



Sign on church:

Become fishers of men.
You catch 'em, we'll clean 'em.




Fatherly Wisdom -  Brotherly Love -

    Dad dished up some ice cream for his sons, 7 and 5 years old.  He was upset to see them fighting over who should get the first bowl.
    So Dad decided to teach them a lesson.  "If Jesus were here, he would say, "Let my brother have the first bowl.  I can wait."
    The 7 year old then took the high road, saying to his brother, "I'll let you be Jesus."



Why One Father Grumbled:

    He returned to his parked car and found the front crumpled, but the car that hit his car had gone.  His spirits brightened, but briefly, when he saw a note under his windshield wiper.  It read:  "There are at least 20 people watching while I write this.  They think I am putting down my name, address and phone number.  But I'm not!"
~~ Tal D. Bonham
~~ all of the above from "Let There Be Laughter" -
thanks to Horty Auerbach



In a church bulletin:  (read carefully)
"The visiting monster today is the Rev. Charles Schmidt."



A young girl, punished by her parents for misbehaving, was made to eat her dinner alone at a small table in the corner of the dining room.
The rest of the family heard her praying over her meal:  "I thank thee, Lord, for preparing a table before me in the presence of mine enemies."
~~ via Rev. Karl Kraft, Mantua, NJ



There are three books my daughter felt were the most important influences in her life:  the Bible, her mother's cookbook and her father's checkbook.
~~ Joyce Mattingly



To the Man of the House:

If you want to be a father, a daddy, a dad, a papa, a paw, a pop, a poppa ... be there !!



To all Dads ...
  • You should never give your wife an ironing board for Christmas, even if she says she needs a new one.
  • If you can laugh at yourself, you will always be amused.
  • When you get mad, remember your family loves you.
  • When you give a hug, you get one back!
  • When you wear mismatched clothes, remember we're the ones who have to look at you.
  • If you say "yuck" to your wife's dinner plans. you end up taking her out to dinner.
  • When you barbecue meat, don't turn it into a "burnt offering."
  • Make a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich so that the stuff leaks out of it.  [Amen! - Ed.]
  • You ever notice in your old age you spend time looking for a bathroom.
  • The most endearing three little words to your wife are: "Let's eat out."
  • After you retire, you spend half of the time looking for things.
  • You learn that taking naps can be the best medicine.
  • You find that as you get older, everything seems to "settle south."
  • Broken cookies have fewer calories.
  • You're never too old to hug and kiss your children in public.
  • The better the doctor (or teacher) the harder it is to read his or her handwriting.
  • People laugh at your jokes whether they are funny or lame.
  • Are you one of those who prefer creative mess to idle neatness?
  • If you're going to pray about something, why worry?  If you're going to worry, why pray?
  • When you're worried, give your troubles to God; He will be up all night anyway.
~~all from "Live and Learn and Pass It  On"



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