The Mustard Seed
June 2015

A Case for Sexual Purity
Part 10  --  Guarding your mind
series index
Our focus of study on sexual purity has been for young single Christians who are looking forward to marriage.  This final installment in this series is for every Christian -- young, old, married, and single.
The battle for sexual purity for many Christians is lost in their private thought-life.  The battle for a pure mind begins by guarding your eyes.  A recent survey by the Barna Group found that 54% of Christian men and 15% of Christian women admitted to viewing pornography at least once a month.  Most of those same men admitted looking at porn several times each week.  And now the lure of dark explicit sexual entertainment is attracting millions of women through books like Fifty Shades of Grey (29 million print copies and 15 million electronic copies of Fifty Shades were sold in just 6 months after the book was released in 2012).
A few years ago if a man wanted to indulge in pornography, he had to go out and drive to a store where he could buy it.  That inconvenience in a potentially socially embarrassing setting was enough to discourage many men from indulging.  Now porn comes free, easy, and private through the internet.  Google reports that sexually related words and phrases exceed all other search topics. 
Many Christians -- both men and women -- excuse their indulgence in sexual fantasies with text or video with, "It's not that bad."  So, little by little, we lower our standards like the proverbial frog sitting in a pot of water that is gradually heated to boiling.
My father-in-law had a great perspective on sexually oriented entertainment: "God never intended sex to be a spectator sport."   When you find yourself watching or reading other people's sexual experiences, it helps to remember three things: 
  1. What you are watching or reading is all FAKE.  Those are actors playing pretend, and the story is the product of someone's fanciful imagination. 

  2. That portrayal of sex in entertainment does not accurately represent REAL sex.  This has a very damaging effect on marriages where husbands and wives find more pleasure in their porn than they do in each other.  Their real partner can never measure up to their fantasy partner. 

  3. The portrayal of sex in videos and literature does not honor marriage and true intimacy.

So what can we do when pornography beacons us?  How you overcome the temptation to look at inappropriate videos on the internet or to buy and read erotica is the same way you deal with any temptation.  Here are some specific tricks which may help you:
  1. Delete your log-in accounts for online video websites.  This may seem drastic, but a serious problem needs a serious fix. 

  2. Don't go to websites that have porn videos.  If you are buying your erotica in stores, don't go into those stores.  If you don't go there, you won't see them. 

  3. Change your mouse cursor to the name of Jesus or a cross, which will always remind you that everywhere you go on the internet, Jesus goes with you.  

  4. Change your online passwords so they include the name of Jesus, your spouse's name, or a Bible reference like Job 31:1, or Proverbs 26:11.

  5. Use your computer only for specific tasks.  When you feel an urge to "just look around," turn your computer off, get up, and go do something good.  If you are married, spend time with your mate.

  6. Remember that Google, YouTube, and other video sites keep a record of ALL of your activity on THEIR servers.  It's called "tracking."  They keep that info on their computers, so they still have it, even after you delete your browser's history and cookies.  Nothing you do on the internet is secret any more.  Besides, God knows what you are doing.  One of His favorite ways of correcting wayward behavior is letting us get caught.

Three good books I recommend on this topic:  For men, Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn.  For women, Pulling back the Shades by Juli Slattery & Dannah Gresh.  And for married couples, read together The Song of Solomon (in the Bible).
Married couples who grow old together without the outside interference of pornography can truly delight in each other.  They enjoy fully satisfying each other sexually and in all areas of marital intimacy.
~~ Pastor Ron

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