A Case for Sexual Purity
Part 10 -- Guarding your mind
Our focus of study on sexual
purity has been for young single Christians who are looking forward to
marriage. This final installment in this series is for every
Christian -- young, old, married, and single.
battle for sexual purity for many Christians is lost in their private
thought-life. The battle for a pure mind begins by guarding your
eyes. A recent survey by the Barna Group found that 54% of
Christian men and 15% of Christian women admitted to viewing
pornography at least once a month. Most of those same men
admitted looking at porn several times each week. And now the
lure of dark explicit sexual entertainment is attracting millions of
women through books like Fifty Shades of Grey (29 million print copies and 15 million electronic copies of Fifty Shades were sold in just 6 months after the book was released in 2012).
few years ago if a man wanted to indulge in pornography, he had to go
out and drive to a store where he could buy it. That
inconvenience in a potentially socially embarrassing setting was enough
to discourage many men from indulging. Now porn comes free, easy,
and private through the internet. Google reports that sexually
related words and phrases exceed all other search topics.
Christians -- both men and women -- excuse their indulgence in sexual
fantasies with text or video with, "It's not that bad." So,
little by little, we lower our standards like the proverbial frog
sitting in a pot of water that is gradually heated to boiling.
father-in-law had a great perspective on sexually oriented
entertainment: "God never intended sex to be a spectator
sport." When you find yourself watching or reading other
people's sexual experiences, it helps to remember three things:
what can we do when pornography beacons us? How you overcome the
temptation to look at inappropriate videos on the internet or to buy
and read erotica is the same way you deal with any
temptation. Here are some specific tricks which may help you:
you are watching or reading is all FAKE. Those are actors playing
pretend, and the story is the product of someone's fanciful
portrayal of sex in entertainment does not accurately represent REAL
sex. This has a very damaging effect on marriages where husbands
and wives find more pleasure in their porn than they do in each
other. Their real partner can never measure up to their fantasy
The portrayal of sex in videos and literature does not honor marriage and true intimacy.
Three good books I recommend on this topic: For men, Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn. For women, Pulling back the Shades by Juli Slattery & Dannah Gresh. And for married couples, read together The Song of Solomon (in the Bible).
your log-in accounts for online video websites. This may seem
drastic, but a serious problem needs a serious fix.
go to websites that have porn videos. If you are buying your
erotica in stores, don't go into those stores. If you don't go
there, you won't see them.
Change your mouse cursor
to the name of Jesus or a cross, which will always remind you that
everywhere you go on the internet, Jesus goes with you.
Change your online passwords so they include the name of Jesus, your spouse's name, or a Bible reference like Job 31:1, or Proverbs 26:11.
your computer only for specific tasks. When you feel an urge to
"just look around," turn your computer off, get up, and go do something
good. If you are married, spend time with your mate.
that Google, YouTube, and other video sites keep a record of ALL of
your activity on THEIR servers. It's called "tracking."
They keep that info on their computers, so they still have it, even
after you delete your browser's history and cookies. Nothing you
do on the internet is secret any more. Besides, God knows what
you are doing. One of His favorite ways of correcting wayward
behavior is letting us get caught.
couples who grow old together without the outside interference of
pornography can truly delight in each other. They enjoy fully
satisfying each other sexually and in all areas of marital intimacy.
~~ Pastor Ron