A Case for Sexual Purity
Part 6 -- Red Flags & Green Lights
Last month in this series we began looking at some "red flags"
which God waves in our face to show us that a romantic relationship we
are pursuing is a time-bomb ready to explode. The first and most
important concern is the faith of the person you date and eventually
marry. Here are some others:
you in a stage of life when you can reasonably begin planning for
marriage and family? Or do you or your prospective partner have
school or career plans which would prevent starting a family? If
so, you would do well to wait to step into romance.
does your prospective mate relate with his/her parents? A man who
is rude to his mother will treat his wife the same way soon after the
"I-do's" are done.
you or your partner have addiction issues? ...drugs, alcohol,
pornography, spending. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you
can fix your partner and that you will keep his/her addiction under
you or your partner have control issues? Do you correct your
partner, often teaching him/her "the right way" to do things?
Does your partner make decisions for you without considering your
& honesty -- Does your partner tend to shade the truth when it is
convenient? Don't fool yourself into thinking that your partner
will lie to everyone else except you. A relationship that is not
founded on trust cannot survive.
Anger -- Do you or your partner have an explosive temper? Are you or your partner quick to complain and criticize others?
intimacy -- Girls, does you guy show disrespect for you by the way he
touches you? Has he asked you to have sex with him?
Are you or your partner still dealing with unresolved conflicts from prior relationships or marriages?
"Green lights" which may indicate you have a good prospect for a life-partner:
note: These are "green lights" for committing to marriage, NOT green
lights to jump into bed together before marriage! The point here
is not to find more "green lights" than "red flags." Any ONE of
those red flags should be a deal-breaker. If you choose to ignore
it, you are inviting heartache for the rest of your life. You may
be tempted to take a "pretty good" prospect for marriage because you
are convinced that no one alive can measure up to the "all lights green
" standard. I assure you, the best is worth waiting for.
You and your partner are in full agreement in matters of faith and together you actively seek God's guidance.
partner is growing in faith, seeks to serve Christ, takes initiative in
Scripture study and prayer, and "walks the talk" (i.e. consistently
lives the Biblical principles he/she professes).
partner has a good loving and respectful relationship with his/her
parents -- and you also have a good relationship with them.
Your partner treats you and others with respect with words and actions.
Your partner is sensitive to the needs and feelings of other people.
Both you and your partner are financially strong and stable; you both know how to handle money wisely.
You and your partner share a common vision for future family life.
Your parents and closest friends approve. (They are quicker to notice red flags than you can.)
Each of you fully accepts the other person's quirks and flaws, with no intention to fix or make changes.
when all lights are green, you still must seek God's wisdom. And
if you are willing to accept His counsel, no matter what it is -- yes
or no -- He is faithful either to lead you forward on the path you are
on, or he will lead you out in another direction that He knows is much
~~ Pastor Ron
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