The Mustard Seed
February 2015



A Case for Sexual Purity
Part 6 -- Red Flags & Green Lights
series index

Last month in this series we began looking at some "red flags" which God waves in our face to show us that a romantic relationship we are pursuing is a time-bomb ready to explode.  The first and most important concern is the faith of the person you date and eventually marry.  Here are some others:
  • Are you in a stage of life when you can reasonably begin planning for marriage and family?  Or do you or your prospective partner have school or career plans which would prevent starting a family?  If so, you would do well to wait to step into romance.

  • How does your prospective mate relate with his/her parents?  A man who is rude to his mother will treat his wife the same way soon after the "I-do's" are done. 

  • Do you or your partner have addiction issues? ...drugs, alcohol, pornography, spending.  Don't fool yourself into thinking that you can fix your partner and that you will keep his/her addiction under control.

  • Do you or your partner have control issues?  Do you correct your partner, often teaching him/her "the right way" to do things?  Does your partner make decisions for you without considering your opinion?

  • Integrity & honesty -- Does your partner tend to shade the truth when it is convenient?  Don't fool yourself into thinking that your partner will lie to everyone else except you.  A relationship that is not founded on trust cannot survive.

  • Anger -- Do you or your partner have an explosive temper?  Are you or your partner quick to complain and criticize others?

  • Physical intimacy -- Girls, does you guy show disrespect for you by the way he touches you?  Has he asked you to have sex with him?

  • Are you or your partner still dealing with unresolved conflicts from prior relationships or marriages?

"Green lights" which may indicate you have a good prospect for a life-partner:

  • You and your partner are in full agreement in matters of faith and together you actively seek God's guidance.

  • Your partner is growing in faith, seeks to serve Christ, takes initiative in Scripture study and prayer, and "walks the talk" (i.e. consistently lives the Biblical principles he/she professes).

  • Your partner has a good loving and respectful relationship with his/her parents -- and you also have a good relationship with them.

  • Your partner treats you and others with respect with words and actions.

  • Your partner is sensitive to the needs and feelings of other people.

  • Both you and your partner are financially strong and stable; you both know how to handle money wisely.

  • You and your partner share a common vision for future family life.

  • Your parents and closest friends approve.  (They are quicker to notice red flags than you can.)

  • Each of you fully accepts the other person's quirks and flaws, with no intention to fix or make changes.

Important note: These are "green lights" for committing to marriage, NOT green lights to jump into bed together before marriage!  The point here is not to find more "green lights" than "red flags."  Any ONE of those red flags should be a deal-breaker.  If you choose to ignore it, you are inviting heartache for the rest of your life.  You may be tempted to take a "pretty good" prospect for marriage because you are convinced that no one alive can measure up to the "all lights green " standard.  I assure you, the best is worth waiting for.
Even when all lights are green, you still must seek God's wisdom.  And if you are willing to accept His counsel, no matter what it is -- yes or no -- He is faithful either to lead you forward on the path you are on, or he will lead you out in another direction that He knows is much better.

(to be continued)

~~ Pastor Ron

To view live Signed Sunday morning worship, click here

Sunday Shuttle

We provide a Sunday morning shuttle from Gallaudet to Christ Lutheran Church of the Deaf in Silver Spring.  Please email Ron.Friedrich@gallaudet.edu for time and place. 

From time to time we post announcements to the Lutheran Student Fellowship by email.  If you would like to be included, please send your email address to Ron.Friedrich@gallaudet.edu
My campus office hours are
Thursday afternoons
in Ely 118.
Drop in and introduce yourself!!
Pastor Ron Friedrich

[Gallaudet Office of Campus Ministry]

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